Just bouncing around…

Originally posted: Fri Oct 17, 2008

Beautiful oaks with limbs swaying over the house, create a pleasant mottled shade alongside the hickory trees. They compete with each other in dropping leaves and acorns/nuts to gradually fill the gutters, just before the autumn rains hit.

We all have to do it – clean out the gutters, remove the twigs and small branches that accumulate on the rooftop and inspect the roof for damage, before the rains come in earnest.

The next door neighbour had absconded with our ladder to fix his own property, but on hearing of our need, he was quick to return it. There it was, propped against the garage when we returned from doing battle with an absent congressman, the US Postal Service, and the USCIS (read Visa Mafia).

Lucky us! The sun was off the roof, the day was pleasant, and this was the perfect time. I held the ladder steady for Gayle, because she needed to be on the roof first, and then, clambered up after her to hold her hand as she wandered about, tidying the world beneath her.
“Bring the camera!”  she yelled, as I followed behind.

Precisely 12 second later, as I hit the top rung, the ladder slid away to nowhere beneath me….
Straight out of an action movie, I rode the ladder to the ground, like I was riding a skateboard.
It was a thrilling ride.
I actually thought about how I should move as I hit the concrete below. I knew that I needed to spring off the sailing ladder a split second before it landed. I needed a parachute roll and I would look like James Bond.
I almost got it right.
I bounced as I hit, I rolled, and missed the 100ft extension ladder as it bounced around me. I even took 3 photographs on the way down! Now thats an automatic response that’s quite scarey!!!
The concrete was soft enough for a landing, but “of course” one foot was caught in the rungs.

Damn!
Yep, that foot just had to have a toe broken to match the crushed toes on the other foot…
I’m fine, but so damned angry that my parachute roll, my bounce and my perfectly agile natural flexibility seemed to be not quite enough to stop the onslaught of gravity.
Of course Gayle is on the roof, I’m on the ground, and the ladder is off by itself.
The next task was to get the damned ladder back in place, so Gayle could get down off the roof, to pour me a scotch and coo pleasantly over me.

After commenting loudly in a language that the clergy do not know, we were back on the same level again…
I would let you now what happened next, but I have to get my foot higher, more ice on it and dream of flexible days of youth.

Grrrrrrrrrr.

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