A positive negative

Originally Posted: Sep 25, 2009

After having read the latest journals of a fellow photographer – and understanding the emotional drain that occurs with being inspired, the greater emotional drain that comes with Not being inspired and the disastrous effects of being let down and have the feeling of self expression sour in ones mouth; I find myself at a crossroads also.

For the last 5 years I have been travelling, shooting and gathering images at a phenomenal rate. I have been attempting to stockpile for my ‘retirement’ so that I have images to edit, post and (God forbid) sell, well beyond my future shooting capacity.

The quest has always been for a muse – not as a lover (my hands are full) but as the model that is able to simply ‘get it’ and want to create – what I want to create.

A disappointing quest, I must say. The perfect model walks in the door, wanting to be part of everlasting art, loves my work and settles down for a shoot – but before we can complete a true series – there is the call of the boyfriend, the requirement to be famous, the next semester of college or whatever.
Another half finished concept sits around for a year before she pokes her head in the door again – and wants to start all over.  Ahh youth can be so fickle.

It is coming to a close.

I will not be shooting ‘ professionally’ for much longer now… my body is melting and the camera is getting too heavy to hold. I considered a ‘steadi-cam device of some sort to hold the camera for me, but that’s probably too weird – even for me. (Well – nothing’s too weird – but way too expensive!)

I do have a problem with falling down too – thats always a bit disconcerting, especially as I love to work on cliff faces.

So the end of this year will probably see the last of my model shoots – I have a few special friends that I will always attempt to lift a camera for, but by and large – the carnival is probably over.

Even my landscapes have suffered, as getting more than 30ft from the car with a camera is doubtful, so most of my shots of late have been taken from the lazy vantage point of the car window.

Ahh – just use a tripod you will say….  Hmmm.. and who will carry that? I ask…

So – time for me to hone my editing skills – and take the back seat for the next great adventure. You may have seen that I have been quiet on here lately – well, it has taken some time to try to grasp reality. I’m getting there.

Thank you to all those that have been watching and waiting for the next exciting installment in my Galleries, but I think you will be mainly seeing Re-edits from here on in. I got so close to publishing the book I had always wanted to, and maybe it will happen… but I think it’s time to accept the inevitable.

It’s the concept of the muse that keeps us inspired – because the muse never arrives.

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